When I plan to do something that is not a part of my everyday grocery shopping, school carpool, returning library books, swim lessons, soccer practice, childcare, laundry, cooking, etc. I make sure that whatever I would like to do, be it a fun ladies night out or a trip to the gynecologist sans children, fits into everyone else's schedule. I make sure there's no conflicting soccer practice, or if there is, that an alternate plan is in place before my plans are official. I check to make sure that my husband has no planned work or social activity, and in the likely event he does, I arrange childcare or change plans. I I make sure that my husband wouldn't feel too burdened, too tired, too stressed, or too cranky to take on the responsibility. If my plans require me to be gone from home during dinner time, I make sure that dinner is planned and usually prepared and waiting before I head out.If my plans require that someone other than me complete the morning routine, I make sure I have backpacks packed, clothes laid out, snacks prepared, and paperwork signed before I leave so that all anyone has to do is put children in the car and deposit them at their location. This frequently includes preparing directions or instructions for the drop off, activity or event.
When my husband makes plans out of the normal routine, he says "I'm going to go...."(play golf, go to a movie, grab a beer, hang out here a while longer, etc.) and then he does it.
You are not alone. I have been known to say to my own husband, "D-Day was planned by men. If women had planned D-Day, the rest of the war would have been over 6 weeks later."
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