And this is why it's called CONFUSED Mommyhood

My head is spinning with thoughts today. And by thoughts I mean anxieties, plans, desires, dreams, worries, recipes, to-do lists, choices, hurts, joys, questions, and several other things that I don't even know how to label.

So here's a little preview of what might be coming your way in the near future:

1. How this week's menu plan turned out.

2. What's on next week's menu.

3. Why a menu plan is just a little piece of the control freakishness that's keeping me calm enough to parent, work, keep house and appear reasonably normal (which even on a good day is a stretch). 'Cause right now I am kinda freaking out about the budget deficit, and I'm not talking about the federal one.

4. How food seems to be such a huge focus of my life right now. Not only meal planning and budgeting, but how the food culture in our country is so far off track. How I just can't look the other way, follow the crowd and not make a fuss about it.

5. How in the world I am ever going to get my to do list done. Ok, forget getting it done. How do I even choose where to start? What's most important? What has to get done right this very minute and what can wait until next week? Or never. Because that's exactly when some of it is going to happen. Yep, never.

6. If I've ruined my children's lives by starting them in school too early, starting them in school too late, teaching them to say vagina and penis instead of who-ha and wee wee, giving them Kool-Aid sweetened with artificial sweetener every Friday on pizza night, letting them watch entirely too much television and play a ridiculous amount of computer games, telling my daughter a gazillion times how beautiful she is (even though I try to say she's smart and funny at least twice as often) and therefore inbedding in her psyche the belief that her beauty is the most important thing about her, screaming at them that they made a very bad choice by putting a green marker under the couch cushion and leaving a giant stain without telling anyone about it for two and a half days, ....

Oh my goodness, I need a drink. Or four. At least it's well after 5PM, and I don't have feel guilty about that. Though I'm sure I'll come up with something.