My six-year-old is a non-fiction kinda guy. On our most recent trip to the library, I told my three children they could each get two or three books since they each still had several (have you heard about my library book....ummm...issues? Maybe another time.) books at home. The 4-year-old came back with exactly three books, probably the first three she saw, thrilled just to be able to pick something of her own without having to make any compromises with the brothers. The 8-year-old came back with four books simply because it wasn't three like I'd told him. We're having some control issues at the moment. Again, another time. The 6-year-old returns with an armload of books about to tumble out of his little grasp. He has one audio CD with Halloween music, four books on dinosaurs and four on planets.
Tonight as we sat down to read at bedtime, he handed me a book on Uranus. Little did I know I was in for an education. When I studied the planets, there were nine of them. And what the heck is a dwarf planet? Boy, how things have changed. Did you know that it would take about 10 years traveling in a spaceship to get to Uranus from here? Probably from where you are too, wherever that is. Did you know that it takes 48 years for the northern hemisphere of Uranus to experience sunrise since the planet is tipped on its side for who-knows-what reason? Did you know that Saturn produces more heat than it gets from the Sun because of its immense size and the heat generated from all that pressure? Nope, me neither.
All this reminded me of a shirt this same six-year-old likes to wear. It proclaims him "Small but mighty." Yes, I am certainly feeling how small I am. Not only is our solar system down a planet, but no one bothered to tell me. Our immense solar system is only a tiny speck in the unfathomable universe beyond. Despite movie makers' imagination, we will likely never know what's really out there, at least not for many generations to come. Many people don't know what the lives of people in other continents, countries, regions and cities are really like, much less what lies beyond our atmosphere.
It makes me feel small. Reminds me that in many ways I am small. More importantly, it reminds me that so many of the things that I allow to worry me, to sap my energy, to stress me out, to anger me, to keep me busy, to hold me back are so very small.
What a small thing that the grocery store is out of newspapers when I finally get to go pick one up at 9:30 at night. Yes, it will throw off my coupon strategy and grocery budget for the next month, but still-small.
What a small thing that some unnamed child left a green marker between the couch cushions, marring both of them with ink that refuses to budge despite my best efforts. It will just have to stay there, annoying me, until we can get a new couch which will probably not happen until 2017. Yes, small in the scheme of things. Very small in comparison to the love I have for this child and my desire for them to know that I will never love him or her one iota less even if they scribbled green marker on every single couch cushion I own.
What a small thing that our budget is falling a little short this month for many reasons that I won't detail for you at the moment but is in no small part a result of a rental property that has remained unrented for several months now awaiting a roof that has been delayed by roofer and insurance adjusters alike who do not seem at all concerned about the shortfall in our budget their lolly gagging is creating. Stressful but small when stacked up next to the blessings our little family can count.
What a small thing that I seem unable to stop myself from writing run-on sentences when many people who I don't even know will probably read them and judge me for it. Annoying but small.
What a small thing that a wayward lump of cells has decided to overgrow its welcome in the breast of a strong, beautiful, intelligent, inspiring mother of two small children who is also my friend and who I cannot imagine this vast, enormous world without.
And then I remember. We are small. But mighty. We are mighty and the stress of life, motherhood, traffic, grocery shopping, embarrassment, too small budgets, and too full schedules is no match for me. I might occasionally huddle on the couch for an afternoon feeling scared and overwhelmed until I remember. We are mighty.
We are small. And this cancer thing is minuscule when standing against the strength and power and love and light and faith and laughter and joy and energy of those of us surrounding my friend. We are small. But we are mighty. Way, way more mighty than this.
Tonight as we sat down to read at bedtime, he handed me a book on Uranus. Little did I know I was in for an education. When I studied the planets, there were nine of them. And what the heck is a dwarf planet? Boy, how things have changed. Did you know that it would take about 10 years traveling in a spaceship to get to Uranus from here? Probably from where you are too, wherever that is. Did you know that it takes 48 years for the northern hemisphere of Uranus to experience sunrise since the planet is tipped on its side for who-knows-what reason? Did you know that Saturn produces more heat than it gets from the Sun because of its immense size and the heat generated from all that pressure? Nope, me neither.
All this reminded me of a shirt this same six-year-old likes to wear. It proclaims him "Small but mighty." Yes, I am certainly feeling how small I am. Not only is our solar system down a planet, but no one bothered to tell me. Our immense solar system is only a tiny speck in the unfathomable universe beyond. Despite movie makers' imagination, we will likely never know what's really out there, at least not for many generations to come. Many people don't know what the lives of people in other continents, countries, regions and cities are really like, much less what lies beyond our atmosphere.
It makes me feel small. Reminds me that in many ways I am small. More importantly, it reminds me that so many of the things that I allow to worry me, to sap my energy, to stress me out, to anger me, to keep me busy, to hold me back are so very small.
What a small thing that the grocery store is out of newspapers when I finally get to go pick one up at 9:30 at night. Yes, it will throw off my coupon strategy and grocery budget for the next month, but still-small.
What a small thing that some unnamed child left a green marker between the couch cushions, marring both of them with ink that refuses to budge despite my best efforts. It will just have to stay there, annoying me, until we can get a new couch which will probably not happen until 2017. Yes, small in the scheme of things. Very small in comparison to the love I have for this child and my desire for them to know that I will never love him or her one iota less even if they scribbled green marker on every single couch cushion I own.
What a small thing that our budget is falling a little short this month for many reasons that I won't detail for you at the moment but is in no small part a result of a rental property that has remained unrented for several months now awaiting a roof that has been delayed by roofer and insurance adjusters alike who do not seem at all concerned about the shortfall in our budget their lolly gagging is creating. Stressful but small when stacked up next to the blessings our little family can count.
What a small thing that I seem unable to stop myself from writing run-on sentences when many people who I don't even know will probably read them and judge me for it. Annoying but small.
What a small thing that a wayward lump of cells has decided to overgrow its welcome in the breast of a strong, beautiful, intelligent, inspiring mother of two small children who is also my friend and who I cannot imagine this vast, enormous world without.
And then I remember. We are small. But mighty. We are mighty and the stress of life, motherhood, traffic, grocery shopping, embarrassment, too small budgets, and too full schedules is no match for me. I might occasionally huddle on the couch for an afternoon feeling scared and overwhelmed until I remember. We are mighty.
We are small. And this cancer thing is minuscule when standing against the strength and power and love and light and faith and laughter and joy and energy of those of us surrounding my friend. We are small. But we are mighty. Way, way more mighty than this.
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